Keep your love locked down

This Kanye West song is amazing, I can't stop listening to it. I still can't believe he lost his mom a month or so ago. This world is fucked up...

I'm currently sitting here at my apartment, trying to start one of three papers due November 12th. Yes, all three papers are due that day. Why? Because my life is fucked. Naaah, acutally I think it's because my teachers are fucking idiots and don't realize that everybody has a shit load of classes and not just theirs. So I've dedicated my Thursday night to this bullshit. I could be out in Atlanta with my friends watching a play and going to Dads garage. It's a little frustrating.

Tomorrow I have to take the Regents, what the hell? On halloween I have to take a test. Let's hope I don't fail it this time haaaaaaahaha, it's really not funny but I try and laugh it off. I'm really upset I failed it.... by four points, awesome. Maybe its because English is my third language, maaaaybe? Maybe. After the test though I'll be headed home and changing into my halloweener costume. I am going to dress up as a Kitty Kat. No not a slutty cat, but a cute cat. I bought a black dress (which will be worn on other days too) and some fuzzy ears, collar, and a tail. I'm also going to paint my face... cat nose and whiskers. Someone might actually mistake me for a damn cat hahahah, that would be funny. I plan on getting shitfaced because a.) rough fucking week dude and b.) it's L.A's birthday!!!! and lastyly c.) I need to make out with some dude and that will only happen if I'm retarded drunk.

So maybe I was kidding about that last one.... maybe I was serious. Ahh fuck I'm kidding. I already know all the dudes going to this party tomorrow night and yeah hell no, no no no. Umm... what else has been going on this past month of my life? Road trip has yet to happen. Thanksgiving break is coming up, thank god. Oh yeah, KSU can kiss my fucking ass man. I swear, this is my last time transferring, I promise!!!! Transferring has got to be the most frustrating process. First of all, I don't get to sign up for Spring classes until JANUARY hahahahahahah what the fuck? I am going in as a Jr\Sr. Bullshit right? yes. Second I have to fill out this super long thing online about my HOPE scholarship. Oh god, my brain hurts right now thinking about it.

Let's see... next month I have to get serious about getting braces. Dude how lame. Braces at 21 years old, going on 22 in less than six months. I don't want braces, but what choice do I really have? Do I want to straighten out my teeth or should I have them be fucked up forever? Ummm yeah. If I do get braces put on it will be for only about year. My teeth aren't really fucked up, they are just a little crooked up top... so maybe I'll wear them for 1-2 years, not bad not bad right?!

Oh my gosh I cleaned our apartment this morning. It was absolutely disguting. I feel better right now, I feel like I'm not breathing-in dirt/dust. My room smells fresh! I also had orientation at my new job today. It went well. I like the assistant manager, he's a little fruity but I like that. I like gay guys so much!!!! Speaking of gay guys, my friend Mason came over last night and we totally watched The Strangers!!!! Kristen nearly shit herself. I almost peed my pants and I've totally seen it before hahaha, it's a scary movie. It's god awful scary because it's so fucked up, it could really happen to you or anybody else. Also it's based on "true events."

Oh man.... why the hell do I have a crush on a guy who has a girlfriend? I mean... I guess you can't help your feelings but I knew this shit was going to happen, especially when we hang out and we hung out the other day. If he didn't have a girlfriend I WOULDA JUMPED HIS BONES while he was on my couch ;) But I'm a good girl and I don't do that slutty stuff, nor am I going to be held responsible for all that bullshit. The funny thing is... everybody says he likes me or has intention of making a move... and I believe that because of his behavior/texts/calls/etc. I just don't really know what to do about it. I'm not gonna tell him to break up with his girl, I don't know her and I don't know their relationship so fuck that. I need to find someone else to flirt with.

I'm so sick and tired of an exboyfriends bullshit. He calls me today after I told him two months ago NOT to call me ever again... If I needed him or if I wanted to talk... I would call him. What the fuck? Is that so hard to understand? Motherfucker calls me and asks me if I'm on campus. Stupid I don't have classes on Thursdays. He wanted to have lunch, dude fuck off. I'm trying to get over you, completely over you. So stop putting me back in your life when you don't want to be with me. Goaesefoishdgiusdhgsiogh I hate boys, hate hate hate. I really can't get attached to anybody else like that unless it's some serious shit. Being in love is great, but what I am going through right not and the things I've been going through the past year and some months has been terrible. I want to scream, but I've held together pretty well.

Enough talk about bullshit. I have to start these papers immediately!